Thursday, June 26, 2008

Life Altering Decisions.....

I've been contemplating all week about whether or not I would write how I feel on this blog and after today I've decided.... What the heck, why not. I have been blessed with a job opportunity that would usually only be offered to people with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration and 5 years of Administrative Assisstant experience. I've been in this position for a week now and it is a bit demanding. I don't mind it though. It's nothing I can't handle. The only thing that has been bugging me is the fact that I actually have to choose between school and work. If I am to succeed in this job, then school is something that I am going to have to hold off on. After getting my A.A., I was so excited about pursuing my educational dreams but now, I'm loving my job. If I continue to remain in this job, I can afford to put both TJ & I through school. I wouldn't be able to fit school into my schedule but I can definately afford to put my husband through school. I was promoted to be an executive assisstant to the CEO and lately, I leave for work at 8:00 and get home around 7:30-8:00. I sit back and think sometimes whether or not I should slow down with school and just concentrate on helping my husband finish but the selfish side of me keeps wanting to do both school and work. I've been crying all week because I feel like if I don't finish school that I am some sort of failure. My family keeps saying, Just take a class or two every semester online." My major is mathematics so I dare anyone to try and take an online multi-variable calculus class online without an actual teacher to ask 50 million questions to. I hear about life challenging experiences in movies but I never thought I'd be in a situation to make a life challenging decision. I've re-read my patriarcal blessing looking for answers but I haven't decided yet. Do I get a demotion from work to accomodate a school scedule? or Do I stay with this over paid position and concentrate on putting my husband through school? Does anyone see my frustrations right now???? Am I just being a spoiled, self-centered, irritating brat? Putting my husband through college is not that big a deal for me. I want to be able to do that. The part that is irritating me is putting myself through school. Is that selfish of me? This blog is way to long.... I'll write again when I get an answer. I love everyone......

♥Dora

3 comments:

James and Cindy said...

hey girl! Its not selfish you want an education. If you can work though and get tj through school with out having to get huge loans then maybe once he finishes he can do all the working while you finish and focus on your schooling. I understand your delima. Maybe you should ask for a blessing of guidance, either from your husband or your dad. We forget that the priesthood is there to help us as well. Its Gods way of keeping touch with us. Love ya sis!

Monty&Kristin said...

I wish you luck in making a decision! Just remember to keep prayin about it. Having a great job is a huge blessing if it means you could help TJ through school and then he can support you through school, but only the Lord knows what is best for You guys! Make a decision and then pray about it. If you feel good...you've got your answer...if not...make a new decision. I know you'll choose what is best for you guys!

saMOEan said...

You are an amazingly strong woman...truly. One of the hardest thing to do in life is to make the right choices. Bad and good choices are easy to sift out...but chosing between two seemingly good choices are tougher. Elder Oaks talk entitled "Good, Better, Best" makes for a good Sunday reading. You can find it online at lds.org Its a great talk.I highly recommend it...it could help.
My Bishop told me when it comes to deciding between 2 seemingly good choices that I needed to pray to know which decision will draw me closer to our Father in Heaven. (something that I am currently working on :)
You and TJ possess such a strength of spirituality within yourselves. I know that you will be able to make the best decision for your family. Love ya Dora...you guys are in my thoughts and prayers.